And Nothing But The Truth
by X-Chick303
Summary: What happens when Usopp buys a little gold sphere that makes whoever holds it tell the truth? MASS CHAOS!... Well, maybe that's stretching it a little, but what's a liar to do when his crew mates are compelled to be nothing but honest?
1. Prologue: How the Grand Line Was Unmade

**I've hit a block with my more popular One Piece story, _Tomorrow's Romance Dawn_, so I wrote this... for giggles, mostly. It will only be about three or four chapters, and I should be updating relatively quickly. **

**This takes place mostly between Skypeia and Water 7, simply because I don't want to write for a big cast.**

* * *

"Do I have to do this?"

"You started this mess; it only makes sense you take record of it to warn future generations."

"... Isn't that a little over-dramatic?"

"You _literally_ have no room to talk."

Those words coupled with the scary look she gave him, he quickly turned back to the ship's log opened before him. He supposed he had no choice. He picked up the quill, dipped it into the inkwell, and began to write.

_The truth. How can one simple thing be so complicated? Then again I guess I have no room to talk. In any case, the truth is sometimes hidden for a reason, as our crew came to learn recently. Luckily it didn't get too out of hand, or else I don't know what would have happened! _

_It all started a few days ago. We had stopped at a relatively quiet summer island, Bazaar Island, to wait for the log pose to reset..._

* * *

_**Several Days Earlier...**_

Luffy stared at the shiny gold orb in front of him. It was almost as if he were having a staring contest with it, if his opponent had eyes anyway.

"So... where's your meat?" Luffy asked seriously, not breaking his gaze from the orb.

The girl before him sighed. "For the fifth time, I don't sell meat! _No one_ around here sells meat! This is a flea market!"

Luffy looked up briefly. As far as the could see there were tables covered in objects likes clothes and snow globes and tea pots and who knew what else. Over the tables were pitched tents, most likely to keep the glaring sun off the sellers' heads. Those who didn't have tables and tents sat on rugs, their wares displayed in front of them.

Luffy nodded sagely. "I see... so you sell fleas then?"

The girl blinked, then slapped her forehead.

"Why'd you slap yourself? Didn't that hurt?"

The girl sighed and ran her hand down her face. "Okay, since you're clearly not the brightest star in the sky, let me explain. A flea market is an open swap-and-meet... that's 'meet' as in M-E-E-T... where people can get together to sell or barter useless objects that you will most likely hide in your basement when you get home. Sometimes food is sold, but it's usually farmer's produce and stuff like that. Nobody sells meat, and nobody sells fleas!... At least, I don't think so."

Luffy nodded sagely again. "So it's a mystery market."

The girl bonked her head against the table.

"Oi, Luffy!"

Luffy turned to see Usopp approaching him, carrying a large backpack stuffed to the brim with knickknacks and other items.

"Isn't this place awesome?" Usopp said excitedly when he reached his captain. "Look at all this stuff I got!"

Luffy shook his head. "This place isn't awesome. They don't sell meat."

Usopp gave a long-suffering sigh, then turned his attention to the table his captain was standing in front of. He pointed at the gold ball. "Hey, what's this?"

The young woman minding the table perked up at the sound of a potential sale. She picked up the orb by the velvet pillow it sat on. "This item is what's called a Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere. Back in our island's old days, the courts would have witnesses who came to the stand hold the ball. Legend has it that holding it would compel them to only speak the truth."

Usopp looked at the sphere warily. "Seriously? Is that true?"

Not that he should be one to accuse someone of lying, taking into account _his_ track record, but that's a debate for another day.

The girl snorted. "Of course not. It's just an old story adults around here tell to get their kids to be honest. You know, like that Liar Noland story they have in the North Blue."

Luffy looked ready to correct her on that, but Usopp covered his mouth. There was no need to get started on a story about _that_ experience.

She placed the orb down. "At any rate, it makes a decent paperweight and conversation starter. And who knows, I'm sure an intelligent individual such as yourself could find some other use for it."

The girl was obviously just buttering him up, but Usopp took it hook, line, and sinker.

"Well, I have won many a prestigious award for my intellect, ever since I was four years old!" Usopp lied proudly. "I accept your challenge! I'll take that gold ball!"

"Excellent!" The girl held out her hand. "That'll be 500 berris."

Usopp frowned and grudgingly passed her the money, then stuffed the orb into his pocket. He walked off, and seeing he had nothing better to do, Luffy went with him. Satisfied, the girl counted the bills and placed it in her cash box. She was about to attend to another customer, when she heard shouting.

"MARTEL!"

The girl, Martel, whirled around to see an agitated old man approach her table.

"Grandpa?!" she gasped. "What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

Her grandfather pointed at her. "When you went through my basement to get items to sell today, by any chance did you take a gold sphere roughly the size of an apple?"

Martel nodded. "Yeah. You said I could take anything."

"When I said anything, I didn't mean...!" Her grandfather sighed. "Just... just please give it back to me. Something like that orb shouldn't be out on display where any idiot can try to buy it."

Martel blinked once, then twice. She sweatdropped and looked away from her grandfather.

"Oops..."

* * *

_And thus the Grand Line was unmade. _

"The Grand Line was _not_ unmade! At worst, we had to replace a few deck planks!"

"Hey, you're making me write this, so let me do it the way I want!"

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Undecided? Let me know!**

**Next time: **The Grand Line may not get unmade, but things do start to get weird when Usopp shows off his most recent purchase.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. it belongs to Luffy.**

**Quick Note: This is_ not_ meant to be a shipping fic, but that doesn't mean I can't mess with you all a little bit. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Had we known at the time what a hassle that innocent-looking gold orb was going to be, I'm sure we would never have let it come aboard the Merry. And to think it started out kind of funny... that went south real quick._

* * *

"Oi, everyone!" Luffy called out as stepped onto the deck. "Me and Usopp are back!"

Robin, who was reading in her deck chair, looked up and gave the rubber boy a half smile. "Welcome back, Captain. Did you find anything of interest at the market?"

"Nah," Luffy replied. "They didn't have any meat."

"That's too bad," Chopper said, walking by with a stack of books. "I found all these great medical texts, and Robin got a book about the island's history."

"It is very interesting," Robin noted. She stood up and looked over at Chopper. "Mr. Doctor, I'm heading towards where the infirmary is. I'll take those books down if you want."

"Really? Thanks a bunch, Robin!"

Robin smiled again and knelt down to take the books from Chopper. Immediately she bloomed several extra arms to get a better hold of the stack. Then she turned to Luffy.

"As for your meat predicament, I'm sure if you ask Mr. Cook nicely, he'll make you some meat for dinner tonight," she said, then promptly went below deck.

"Great idea, Robin!" Luffy agreed before Robin left. He looked up towards the galley door. "SANJI! MAKE MEAT!"

"WAIT UNTIL DINNER, MORON!" Sanji shouted back from within the galley.

"That's not asking nicely at all!" Chopper scolded. The reindeer paused. "Hold on. Luffy, didn't you say you _and_ Usopp were back?"

The captain nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

"Then where's Usopp?"

Luffy's brow furrowed, then he walked over to Merry's railing that faced the docks. He looked over the side to see an impatient Usopp standing on the dock, tapping his foot. Nami was also standing next to him, several shopping bags hanging from her arm.

"What the heck is taking you so long?" Usopp called up to him. "I told you to drop the gangplank when you got on board! I can't haul this backpack up a ladder!"

"I just got here, but dropping the gangplank would be nice!" Nami added.

"Sorry, I forgot!" Luffy apologized. "Hold on!"

When Luffy didn't step away from the rail to get the gangplank, Nami and Usopp grew worried. When Luffy stretched down his arms so that they wrapped around his friends' waists, Nami and Usopp's stomachs dropped. He was _not_-

"Gum Gum..._ Fishing Line_!"

With a quick snap of his elongated limbs, the sniper and navigator went flying into the air and slamming into the deck. Nami's bags scattered everywhere and Usopp's backpack burst open, spilling whatever objects he'd purchased over the course of the day across the deck.

The duo jumped to their feet almost instantly and knocked their fists into Luffy's head.

"WARN US WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO THAT!" they hollered angrily.

Luffy rubbed his noggin. "Owww..."

Chopper, being the nice soul he was, started to help pick up the fallen objects. Nami had begun to do so as well, until she noticed something by her foot.

"What's this?" she asked, picking it up. "A gold ball...?"

Usopp stopped berating Luffy long enough to check his pocket and see that the orb he bought was gone. It must have fallen out when Luffy pulled him and Nami on to the Going Merry.

"Oh, that's Usopp's!" Luffy explained to Nami. "The girl he bought it from in the market said whoever holds it has to tell the truth!"

"Wow, really?!" Chopper asked in awe. "Nami, you're holding it! Are you feeling truthful or anything?"

"Get real, Chopper," Usopp said, walking over to Nami. "The girl I bought it from said that was just an old story. I was thinking I could make something out of it."

Usopp tried to take the gold ball from Nami's hand, but she quickly moved it out of his reach. Nami examined the sphere with a critical eye, then tapped it with her fingernail.

"Thing's not even solid gold, just gold plating..." she muttered. She glanced over to the side, to where a certain swordsman was sleeping against the mast. "I wonder..."

Without another word of warning, Nami reared back her arm and hurled the ball at Zoro. Usopp and Chopper cried out, yelling at her for doing something like that to a sleeping man. Their cries were wasted, however, for Zoro's arm snapped up and easily caught the ball.

Zoro cracked one eye open. "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep."

"SO COOL!" Luffy and Chopper exclaimed.

_Was he even actually asleep?_ Usopp thought.

Nami crossed her arms and smiled connivingly. "Zoro, can I ask you something?"

The swordsman scowled. "You threw a gold ball at my face because you wanted to ask me a question?"

"It's important."

"Fine. Make it quick."

Nami put her arms behind her back and put on a fake pouty expression. "Zoro, remember back in Alabasta when I gave the boys my Happiness Punch? How come you didn't look? Do you think I'm ugly or something, or are you just not into girls?"

"No; I actually find you extremely attractive. It's just that I have too much respect for you as my nakama to try something as cheap as peeking on you in the bath," Zoro said in the most normal and calm tone ever. "And it's not that I don't like girls; they just don't interest me in that way. I've sworn off the idea of pursuing any form of romantic relationship with women because I feel they would distract me from achieving my dream and I also still hold lingering _WHAT THE HELL_?!"

Zoro's sudden change in attitude nearly gave the crew whiplash. He followed his cry of outrage with throwing the gold ball back at Nami, who caught it while at the same time gaping like a goldfish. And she wasn't the only one- everyone on deck had similar incredulous expressions, even Luffy.

"Did... did that really just happen?" Usopp asked in disbelief.

Chopper hugged the sniper's leg. "Usopp, I'm scared."

Zoro jumped to his feet and stared at the hand that had been holding the ball. "What... what... what the hell just happened to me?! Why did I say all that?!" He glared at Nami. "What did you do me, witch?!"

Nami didn't reply. She was too busy trying to process everything she'd heard and was epically failing at it.

Luffy walked over to Zoro and pointed at the ball. "You see that ball Nami's holding? Usopp bought it at the market, and whoever holds it has to tell the truth. I guess you just proved it actually worked... so you really think Nami's pretty?"

Zoro's face reddened. He'd had some undignified moments over the years, but this one topped them all. How could that woman embarrass him like this! How would _she_ like it if she were forced to admit something like that-

_Hold on,_ Zoro thought. _Luffy said whoever's holding the ball has to tell the truth, right? Nami's holding the ball right now_.

Zoro grinned wickedly and crossed his arms. It was time for some payback. "Hey, Nami!"

Nami quickly shook herself out of her stupor. "Um, yeah?"

"Do you ever watch me when I train?"

"Occasionally. You always do it out in the open, so it's kind of hard not to," Nami replied offhandedly, as if commenting on the weather. "I pretend not to though because I know you'd never let me hear the end of it if you knew I thought your chest scar, pecs, and abs are all kind of sexy _WHAT THE HELL_?!"

After a similar fit of emotional whiplash, Nami pitched the ball away towards the galley door, just as Sanji was opening it.

"Nami-swan!~ Robin-chwan!~" Sanji practically sang as he stepped out, carrying a tray of pastries. "I have completed your afternoon tea snacks, for your-"

He was cut off as the ball smacked him in the forehead, knocking the chef back into the galley and forcing him to drop the tray of snacks. Luffy ran at an inhuman speed to where the snacks were falling over the railing, and caught said snacks in his stretched-out mouth. Usopp and Chopper both held up signs with the number ten on them.

Sanji ran out of galley and jumped to the deck, holding the ball and rubbing his forehead. He looked pissed. "What the _heck_? Who just throws a gold ball at someone's _face_?!"

Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy pointed at Nami and said in unison, "Nami did it!"

Sanji's demeanor went from angry to loving as he turned to Nami. "In that case, no harm done, Nami dear! I'm sure your reasons are justified!"

He stopped his twirling around long enough to notice Nami's face was pure red with an embarrassed blush. That was weird- Nami never looked embarrassed. And while he was thinking about it, the mosshead looked very uncomfortable. Not to mention the Goofy Trio looked like they were trying to hold in giggles.

"Oi, what's going on?" Sanji asked. "Why is everyone acting so strange?"

"Hey, Sanji, why you always cover one side of your face with your hair?" Chopper inquired with a chuckle.

"It's just the hairstyle I prefer. It's also convenient because my face looks too weird when both my eyebrows are showing, since my other eyebrow curls_ WHAT THE HELL_?!"

Sanji hurled the ball at Luffy, who caught it in the middle of a laughing fit. Chopper and Usopp were also rolling around on the deck, chortling like lunatics.

"What was _that_?!" Sanji demanded to know.

"Truth ball," Zoro and Nami responded in monotone.

The chef raised a curly eyebrow. "Truth ball?"

"Usopp bought a ball in town today, and anyone who holds it has to tell the truth," Nami explained.

"Yeah!" Luffy confirmed chipperly. "Zoro admitted he think's Nami's pretty, and Nami admitted she likes to watch Zoro train!"

Sanji's eyes bugged out of his head. "_WHAT?!_"

"_LUFFY!_" Nami and Zoro hollered indignantly.

Sanji fell to his knees, a cloud of gloom and despair hanging over his head. From the way he was acting, you'd think someone had just told him that the All Blue didn't exist or that Zoro and Nami were going to elope. Judging from the current circumstances, it was most likely the latter rather than the former.

"This thing is really cool!" Luffy said excitedly, holding the ball up. "It makes you admit all sorts of weird stuff, like how I'm the one who ate all of the sea king meat in the middle of the night last week!" Luffy blinked. He looked at the ball quizzically. "Wow. This thing works fa-"

"I _KNEW_ IT WAS YOU!" Sanji cried out, delivering a powerful kick into Luffy's gut.

The kick sent Luffy slamming into Usopp, knocking the latter overboard. Before anyone could react to that, the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere sailed through the air and landed hard on the deck. A single crack ran through it.

Chopper's eyes widened. "Uh, guys-?"

**_BOOMPH! _**

* * *

Robin had heard all of the ruckus above, but she didn't think much of it. So when she opened the trapdoor leading to the main deck, she found herself in a state that didn't often occur to her; she was surprised.

The Captain, Miss Navigator, Mr. Swordsmen, Mr. Cook, and Mr. Doctor were all caked from head to toe in glittering gold dust. They were all either rubbing it out of their eyes or spitting it out of their mouths. It reminded her of a story she read once- about a king who turned whatever he touched into gold.

"This is unexpected," she commented, pulling herself onto the Merry's deck. "Looks like I've missed quite a party."

Luffy spit again and stuck out his tongue. "Augghh... fis tahys so nasthy..."

Nami stared bitterly at her shirt. "This stuff better not stain my clothes..."

Chopper was running around in panicked circles. "It's in my fur, it's in my fur!"

Zoro and Sanji were now fighting. The chef was ranting about "he would never allow a muscled brute like him have an angel like Nami" and the swordsman was telling him that he could have that "greedy witch". Sanji was so infuriated that he hadn't even registered Robin's presence.

Noticing the absence of Longnose, Robin went over to the side and looked down. Usopp was floating in the water, an unamused expression gracing his features.

Robin chuckled. "Need a hand, Longnose?"

Usopp held up a hand. "Yes please."

"Alright. _Cinco Fleur_."

Five arms bloomed out of the side of Merry's hull and helped the sniper back on to the ship. Once he was over the railing, he took in the sight of his now very shiny crew.

"Yeesh, what happened to guys?" he asked. "You look like an arts and crafts store threw up on you."

Luffy glared at him. "Your stupid gold ball blew up!"

Robin blinked. "His _what_ blew up?"

"Not_ that_ kind of gold ball!" Usopp shouted at the archaeologist. "He means the literally golden orb I bought in the market- wait, it_ blew up_?!"

"It exploded into a cloud of gold dust, which is why we look like _this_," Nami said testily.

"You've got to be kidding me! I paid 500 berris for that thing!"

"You paid _how much_?!"

_**BONK!**_

Usopp crumpled to the deck, a huge lump on his head. Chopper shrieked and ran to his side with an icepack.

Sanji stopped fighting Zoro long enough to light a cigarette and try to dust off his body. "I suppose this probably for the best. That ball was way too much trouble."

"For once, I agree," Zoro agreed.

Robin had the strangest inclination that she had missed something, but didn't dwell into it. Going of off Zoro and Sanji's argument, the way Zoro and Nami wouldn't look each other in the eye, and Luffy's grumbling about how Sanji was stingy meanie, she decided she didn't want to know.

It was decided that the ball would be forgotten, and the rest of the afternoon was spent trying to get rid of all the gold dust on the crew and deck. The task was accomplished with heavy showering and deck-swabbing. The rest of night went normally, with Sanji making dinner and everyone going to bed (except Robin, but for her that _was_ normal) or taking their watch soon after.

* * *

_We thought that had been the end of the chaos. How wrong we were._

As soon as he finished writing that sentence, she swept the book from his grip.

"Hey!" he protested. "What was that for?!"

"I'm just making sure you didn't add any extraneous details," she replied. She glared at him icily. "Like certain truths told."

"Don't worry, I didn't. I want to forget those were said just as much as you do." He paused, then smiled teasingly. "By the way, want to take a break? I think Zoro's out training on the deck, so if you want to go watch..."

_**WHACK!**_

"SHUT UP!"

"OW! Can't you take a joke?!"

"I find it highly ironic that the liar on our crew didn't get affected by that truth ball! It's so unfair!"

Usopp rubbed his head and took the ship's log back. He guessed a break would have to wait.

* * *

**Next Time:** The nightmare of the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere continues as side effects from the gold dust appear.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, or some of the various headcanons I worked into this fic. **

**This chapter might seem a bit rushed, but I want to finish this before I lose interest! (Which happens a lot.) There should be at least one more chapter after this, so hold on! Also, be sure to check out my new One Piece one-shot, _The Gift of a Mother's Love_. It's Ace and Rouge related, so I think you'll like it!**

* * *

_Morning soon came to the Going Merry. Everything seemed normal, at least at first... but even then I could shake the feeling something was off. _

* * *

When Usopp awoke that morning, he immediately felt that something was wrong. Not that anything_ seemed_ wrong... he was the only one left in the boys' cabin, but that hardly called for concern. He slept in sometimes- everyone did it.

_Something isn't right..._ Usopp thought. Then his stomach rumbled and he sighed. _But I'll worry about that later. First, I need to get some breakfast_.

Usopp got out of his hammock and made his way up to the main deck. Oddly enough, it was empty as well. That meant everyone was probably already in the galley eating breakfast. He huffed; how inconsiderate of them to start eating without him!

He climbed up the stairs and opened the galley door. "Look alive, comrades! The Great Captain Usopp has finally awoken!"

Inside the galley, everyone was sitting at the table save for Sanji, who was at the stove, and Robin, who wasn't there. None of them bothered to look up at the sniper. A little disheartened, Usopp took his seat. Not a second later, Sanji set down a plate of food in front of him.

"Thanks, Sanji," Usopp said. "You probably gave Nami all the good stuff already though."

"No problem," Sanji replied. "And I know I say I give all the bad bits to you louts, but in reality I eat them as part of my honor as a chef. Now, want some juice?"

Usopp blinked, then stared hard at Sanji, who had turned away to pour some juice. What... what did he say just now?

"Uh, what was that?"

"I asked if you wanted some juice. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if you're capable hearing anything other than the sound of your own voice."

Sanji turned around and set down Usopp's juice, but Usopp didn't notice that. What he _did_ notice was Sanji's visible eye. The iris was _gold_. Solid, gleaming gold that glowed ever so slightly. Sanji's eyes were supposed to be _blue_, not gold!

"Sanji, what happened to your eyes?!" Usopp hollered. He turned to Chopper. "Chopper, something's wrong with Sanji!"

Chopper looked up. "There is?! I'll take care of it, Usopp, even though I am still very insecure about my position as doctor!"

Usopp reeled back. Chopper's eyes were gold too.

While Chopper walked over to Sanji, Usopp tried his very hardest not to panic. Why were Sanji and Chopper's eyes golden? Why were they saying strange things?

"Sanji, lean over," Chopper was saying. "I need to examine you."

"Okay, Chopper. By the way, when I say you're the emergency food supply, I'm only about 49% serious."

"Alright. And I was the one who tossed your cigarettes overboard three days ago, but didn't tell you in fear that you would turn me into venison stew."

_Very_ strange things. But what was strangest of all, was that neither seemed aware of what they were saying or what the other was saying! And why wasn't anyone else commenting about the situation? Their crewmates had golden eyes and were just randomly admitting secrets!

Usopp stiffened. Hold on... gold? Telling secrets? No, it couldn't be... but what if... and the others...?

"Uh, hey, N-Nami?" Usopp stuttered.

Nami didn't look up from her food. "Yeah, Usopp?"

He spoke the first thing that came to mind. "W-Why do you r-really keep adding on to Z-Zoro's debt?"

Nami shrugged and looked up. Her eyes shown gold. "I do it to keep Zoro on the ship. Out of all the people on the crew, I think he's one most likely to leave, and let's face it, none of us want that to happen. He can't leave the ship if he has debts to repay."

"I couldn't leave this crew even if I wanted to, which I never will. Luffy's dream has become part of my own," Zoro spoke up casually. When Usopp looked at him, his eyes were also gold. "I also once told him that if he ever got in the way of my dream, I'd kill him, but I've changed my mind since then."

The sniper swallowed and looked at his captain, who was scarfing down food as per usual. What kind of deep, meaningful secret was he going to say? Hearing Nami and Zoro's just now made him feel a little guilty, but he was curious.

Luffy swallowed and looked at Usopp. Like the others, his dark eyes were now golden. "I used to fall asleep every time Yasopp started talking about you."

"THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?!" Usopp shouted.

Usopp mentally smacked himself. No, now was not the time for that! Something was wrong with his crew! Unfortunately, Usopp couldn't think, for upon Luffy's declaration, everyone began shouting at once.

"I once poured bleach on this bully's family's prize tangerine tree and never told Bellemere!"

That sounded like something Nami would do.

"I know I act like a lady's man, but I've never so much as kissed a girl!"

That was not surprising.

"I'm well aware I have a bad sense of direction, but my pride prevents me from acknowledging it!"

Holy crap, did Zoro really just admit that?!

"My very first Rumble Ball made my arms all big and I ran around screaming like a girl!

Okay...

"I was the one who stole Dadan's liquor on my 13th birthday, not Ace!"

Who the heck was Dadan?

Usopp jumped from the table and pressed his back against the galley door. The Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere had to be the cause of this, there was no doubt about it. The only thing he couldn't figure out was how. It had gotten destroyed, hadn't it?

Usopp made a decision right then and there. There was only one thing left to do at a time like this.

"... _ROOOOOBBBIIIINNNNN!_"

* * *

"I see," the archaeologist said. "That would explain a few things."

Usopp, once leaving the galley, had made a beeline straight for the girls' cabin. There, he found Robin sitting next to the mini-bar and reading a book. He had quickly explained everything that had occurred in the galley, and she had listened patiently.

"Yeah?" Usopp asked tiredly. "Like what?"

"Like why when I said good morning to Miss Navigator, the first thing she did was say she didn't really trust me after I gave her Crocodile's jewelry. She was still wary, at least until that incident with the Rainbow Mist."

"Yikes."

"It's alright. I suspected as much." Robin sipped her coffee. "Am I correct in assuming the golden ball from the other day has something to do with this?"

Usopp nodded. "That's my theory, but I don't see how. It exploded, remember?"

"Yes, it did. But weren't Captain and the others coated in gold dust when it did? Perhaps they inhaled it and that's what is causing this."

Usopp had to admit, that sounded like a good explanation for his theory. "Yeah, maybe. You and I didn't get hit with the dust, which is most likely why we aren't spouting random truths right now."

"Undoubtedly."

"So what do we do? I don't think the crew can survive with all this brutal honesty."

"If had to suggest a course of action, I'd say we track down whoever sold you the ball. You said at dinner last night you bought it in the flea market, correct?"

Usopp nodded. "Correct. I bought it from some girl. Do you think she might still be at her stand in the flea market?"

Robin shrugged. "I don't know, but I suppose there's only one way for us find out."

The only way was to return to the flea market, but Usopp wasn't so hot on the idea. That would mean leaving his affected crewmates alone on the ship.

"One of us should stay here and watch the others," Usopp suggested.

"That might not be a good idea," Robin disagreed. "We don't want to accidentally hear a truth we were never meant to hear. There are some things people _want_ to keep a secret."

"Can we really leave them here by themselves?"

"Beyond the truth-telling, Captain and the others seem to be fine by your description. I don't think we need to be concerned. The best thing we can do to help them is find this girl and get a cure."

Usopp agreed this time. "Alright, if you say so. Let's go."

* * *

With their new mission agreed on, Usopp and Robin left the Going Merry. The rest of the crew seemed to still be in the galley, so no more confessions were heard to Usopp's relief.

Bazaar Island's main flea market wasn't too far from the docks, so in no time at all Robin and Usopp found their way there. It being so early in the morning, many people were still setting up their stands.

"There aren't many people here," Usopp noted. "She may not even be here yet."

"Longnose, what did she look like?" Robin asked suddenly.

"Uh... curly brown hair, blue eyes, a bit plump, and she looked to be about 17 or 18. Why?"

Robin closed her eyes crossed her arms. "_Ojos Fleur_."

As soon as she said this, arms began to bloom on top of the large market tents. To Usopp's horror, all of these arms carried at least three blue eyes. He knew it was Robin's power, but it was still really creepy! Luckily for them, none of the islanders seemed to notice.

After a minute, Robin opened her eyes and the arms disappeared. "I found her. She's setting up her table right now."

Robin led the sniper down several paths amongst the tables, finally bringing him to one they desired. Sure enough, there the girl was, setting up her goods on a large table.

"Hey, you there!" Usopp called out.

The girl looked up and her eyes widened. Usopp and Robin stopped in front of her table.

"Hi there," Usopp greeted. "Listen, I'm-"

"GRANDPA!" the girl hollered. "THE LONGNOSED GUY I TOLD YOU ABOUT IS HERE!"

"HE IS?!"

A burly old man appeared next to the girl. He glared at the sniper with such intensity that Usopp wanted nothing more than to run away.

"So, you're the idiot Martel sold the sphere to," the old man said in a gravelly voice. He held out his hand. "I'm going to have to insist you give it back. You will be refunded, I assure."

"I'm afraid Longnose can't do that," Robin said. "The sphere was destroyed yesterday."

"WHAT?!"

The old man's glare went from intimidating to intimidating _and_ panicky. It was as if his worst fear had been realized. Martel looked worriedly at her grandfather and the pirates.

"That's why we're here!" Usopp said, mustering up as much courage as he could. "My captain dropped it yesterday and it exploded, coating the crew in gold dust. They breathed the dust in! Now they have golden eyes and won't stop telling the truth!"

"No way," Martel gasped. "You mean the stories are true?! I thought the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere was just a fairy tale!"

"Of course they're true, stupid girl!" her grandfather barked. "Why else would I hide that blasted thing away?!"

Martel scowled. "Well, how the heck was I supposed to know?! You never tell me anything!"

"Excuse me," Robin broke in. "May I ask you something, Mr...?"

"Thurgood," the old man answered. "And sure, why not."

"What_ is_ the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere exactly?"

"In our island's old days, we used the sphere in our courts so witnesses would be honest on the stand. We didn't use them on defendants so we wouldn't impede on their right to a fair trial. In those times, I was actually a rather prominent judge. I only just retired 10 years ago, but I've had that sphere even longer."

"If it's a real thing, then why is it considered a legend now?" Usopp wondered aloud.

"The ball proved to be too dangerous. If someone held onto it too long, they found that they couldn't let go and would begin to just blab about their innermost secrets." Thurgood groaned. "Trust me, you do _not_ want to hear a witness blather about a love affair they had _in detail_. Anyway, the island's council decided that witnesses also had a right to privacy, so we stopped using the sphere. It was given to me for safekeeping, and we let record of the sphere's usage fade away into a mere bedtime story."

"Yeah, Gramps, keeping it in a box in your basement was _real_ safe," Martel said sarcastically.

"It's been down there for 40 years, so I must have been doing _something_ right!" he snapped back. He turned his attention back to the pirates. "40 years of keeping that ridiculous sphere safe, and some longnosed moron goes ahead and destroys it. Figures."

Usopp pretended not to be insulted by the constant jabs toward his nose.

"Mr. Thurgood, you said that if people held on to the sphere too long, they couldn't let go and compulsively told the truth," Robin said. "This is similar to what's happening to our crew. How did you fix the people afflicted?"

Thurgood reached into a box and pulled out a little bag. He opened it, revealing its contents to be sparkling silver dust.

"We used this," he began to explain. "When Martel told me she sold the sphere, I went ahead and concocted our old cure for the Honesty Disease, as we called it. All we have to do is blow this in their faces, and it should cure them. However, you said your crew breathed in the dust the sphere created when it blew up. This is a different case, so I can't guarantee this will completely work."

Usopp took the bag from him. "We'll risk it. Thanks for your help."

Thurgood nodded, then whacked Usopp in the head.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"For breaking the island's historical treasure, brat!" Thurgood yelled. "That sphere was precious!"

"And _yet_, you kept in your _basement_," Martel said with false disbelief.

"You shut up, stupid girl!" He pointed at Robin and Usopp. "Now, go with them!"

Martel raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Why should I?"

Thurgood jerked his thumb at Usopp. "To make sure _this one_ doesn't screw up."

"Hey! How many times do I have to say my captain broke the sphere, not me?!" Usopp barked.

"You _were_ the one who let him hold on to it in the first place," Robin pointed out.

Usopp flopped over dejectedly. "_Et tu_, Robin?"

Robin simply chuckled.

Martel groaned and hopped over the table. Snatching the bag away from Usopp, she said, "Ugh, fine! Where are your friends?!"

"Aboard our ship," Usopp replied. "We'll take you there."

The newly-formed trio ran back the way the pirates originally came. As they left, Thurgood called out, "Good luck! Try not to screw this up, Longnose!"

"WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

* * *

_With renewed purpose, we returned to our ship with our new ally, Martel. Now that we had a possible cure, things were looking up. There was just one problem..._

Robin, Usopp, and Martel stood in the dead center of the Going Merry's deck. A wind blew, and they were somewhat expecting a tumbleweed to follow.

"So... are your friends invisible or something?" Martel asked, crossing her arms.

Robin didn't comment on anything, but she did frown.

"You've _got_ to be _kidding_ me..." Usopp despaired.

_... By the time we got back, the Going Merry had been deserted. __My honestly-unrestricted friends were now loose on Bazaar Island._

* * *

**Next Time: **The hunt for the crew begins as chaos reigns on Bazaar Island.


	4. Chapter 3- End

**Sorry this took so long! I was trying to focus on _Tomorrow's Romance Dawn _and just sort of forgot. Then I started college, so... yeah. But it's here now! It's short, but I wanted to end it. Enjoy!**

* * *

_It wasn't the best situation, but I'm happy to say I handled it professionally. I was calm, cool, and collected at the prospect of my overly-honest friends running wild on Bazaar Island. I think Martel and Robin were quite impressed with me..._

* * *

"HOLY CRAP, THEY'RE LOOSE!" Usopp panicked, yanking his hair. "A group of truth-compulsive pirates are running amuck on the island! There are million ways this can end in disaster! What are we gonna do? WHAT ARE WE GONNA-?!"

Martel reared back her hand and smacked Usopp across the face.

"OW!" Usopp cried out.

"Pull yourself together, man!" Martel scolded him, grabbing him by the overalls and shaking him. "You're a pirate; a man of the sea! Act like it!"

Martel let go of the sniper after that. Usopp cradled his jaw and shied away from the curly-haired girl.

"I guess leaving the crew alone the ship was't the best idea after all," Robin admitted, rubbing her temple. "I apologize."

"It's fine, Robin," Usopp sighed. "There's no point in making a big deal about it now. We've got to find the crew!"

"I suggest I give you both some of the cure, and then we split up," Martel spoke up. "The island's not that big, but we can put an end to this mess faster if we can cover more ground. You said the afflicted crewmates had glowing gold eyes, right?"

"That's right," Robin confirmed.

"Then I'll be on the look out for that. Does my plan sound good?"

Robin and Usopp saw nothing wrong with it, and she _was _right. The sooner this ordeal was dealt with, the better. Martel divided the silver dust into three separate pouches and gave them to the the pirates. Giving each other quick nods, they bounded off of the Merry and across the docks, heading for town.

"Try not to screw this up, Longnose!" Martel called out.

"WOULD YOU GIVE THAT A REST?!"

* * *

_**With Martel**_

Martel didn't know how she got dragged into these kind of things. Hunting down pirates with Honesty Disease across the the entirety of Bazaar island?

... Oh well, it beat running her flea market stand. That straw hat kid wasn't even the tenth most annoying customer she'd ever gotten.

Martel looked around. She was in the market area that focused mostly on selling clothes and items like that. The items sold were pretty pricey, so she usually didn't come this way.

_Okay,_ she thought to herself, looking around. _If I was a pirate, where would I be?... Actually, now that I think about it, being a pirate wouldn't change where I am, just who I am. So either way I would still be here, wouldn't I? After all, pirates are just like ordinary people, aren't they_? _Only they sail around on ships and are wanted by the-_

"GET BACK HERE, YOU THIEF!"

Martel snapped to attention just in time to see a girl about her age run past her, her arms full of designer outfits.

"I _am_ stealing these outfits!" the girl admitted. "And when I get arrested, I will most likely seduce you into letting me go before I beat you over the head with my Clima-Tact!" Pause. "I also once drew a mustache on Chew while he was sleeping, and he never figured out it was me!"

Martel didn't even have to look into her eyes to know she was one of the Straw Hats. No self-respecting thief would blurt all_ that_ out unless _something _was wrong with them. Luckily, despite being a bit pudgy, Martel could be a ridiculously fast runner when she wanted to be. In no time at all she got ahead of the pirate girl and got in her path.

"Hey!" she shouted. "Get out my way! I'm stealing!"

Martel rolled her eyes and blew a cloud of silver dust into the pirate's face. When the dust cleared, the girl was just standing in confusion, blinking at her surroundings. Her eyes were no longer gold, but light brown.

"... What just happened?" the girl said to herself.

"You've just been cured of Honesty Disease, that's what," Martel told her. "Looks like Grandpa's cure really does work, even if it did cause a bit of memory loss. Who would've thought?"

"Honesty Disease? What are you talking about? Who are you anyway?"

"First, let's return those outfits you stole. Then I'll fill you in on what you've missed."

* * *

_**With Robin**_

"Well," Robin muttered. "This one was easy enough."

Luffy and Chopper were sitting next to a little fountain in town, licking ice cream cones, being the perfect image of innocence and serenity to the casual observer (provided they hadn't seen Luffy's wanted poster before. If they had then, by all means, they could start panicking).

"Captain, Mr. Doctor," she called out.

Luffy looked up, gold eyes shining. "Hey, Robin! What's up?"

Robin walked over to them, and it didn't even take ten seconds before the Honesty Disease went into full swing.

"I used to dine and dash a lot when I was a kid!" Luffy announced. "And those stupid nobles never caught on! They just kept letting it happen!"

"I used to always go into Doctorine's special medicine cabinet even though I wasn't supposed to!" Chopper declared. "I did it anyway so I could create my Rumble Balls!"

"I always been kind of jealous of how muscly Ace is! No matter how hard I try, I'm still so skinny!"

"I once licked a frozen pole even though Doctor told me not to! I was stuck for an hour!"

"My grandpa wanted me to be a marine!"

"I am always flattered when I'm complimented, despite saying otherwise!"

Robin decided then was a good time to interrupt. She dipped her fingers into her little sack and blew the silver dust into her captain and doctor's faces. When it cleared, both their eyes were back to normal.

Chopper looked from side to side. "What... what's going on? Where are we?"

Luffy licked his ice cream. "And when did I start eating ice cream? I'm not complaining, it's just..." He paused. "... Mystery ice cream."

"You two had come down with a bad case of Honesty Disease, courtesy of the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere that exploded yesterday," Robin explained. "Luckily, Usopp and I found the sphere's original owner and he gave us the cure."

"Honesty Disease? I've never heard of it!" Chopper exclaimed. He walked over to the archaeologist and poked the cure's bag. "Is this it in here? Do you mind if I study it?"

"Tell you what, Mr. Doctor. I'll take you to the man who made this cure after we locate the rest of the crew. You and our captain weren't the only ones who caught the disease."

The younger boys both nodded and followed after Robin when turned and ran.

"Honesty Disease, huh? What, did we tell the truth a lot or something?" Luffy asked, running up next to her.

"Oh yes," Robin replied. She smiled almost mischievously. "So, who is this Ace whose muscles you're jealous of?"

For the first time since she'd met him, Luffy blushed heavily. Robin considered teasing him about what he said about his grandpa, but she instead chose that she would mention that one to him in secret.

"You're jealous of Ace's muscles?" Chopper asked curiously.

Luffy just groaned as Robin giggled.

* * *

_**With Usopp**_

_It figures,_ Usopp thought wearily. _Of all the crew members I could have found, it just _had_ to be these two. Why does the universe hate me so much?_

The poor, unfortunate sniper was referring to the sight of the crew's resident swordsman and cook duking it out in the town square in front of him.

"I find it abysmal how you treat women like they're raised on a dais!" Zoro hollered, swinging Kitetsu and Yubashiri at the cook. "I think women and men should be considered equals!"

"I find it weird that you seem to never notice women! You didn't even peep on Nami in Alabasta!" Sanji hollered, blocking the swords with a kick. "Sometimes I wondered what team you played for, but after what Luffy told me yesterday, I don't know what to think anymore!"

"While you irritate me to no end, I have to admit you are an excellent fighter and a good crewmate!"

"Sometimes you make me want to strangle you, but I have to admire how you adhere to your dream and protect this crew!"

"I RESPECT YOU, SWIRLS!"

"I RESPECT YOU TOO, MOSSHEAD!"

_Yeesh, even when they're being nice to each other they sound like they hate each other_, Usopp thought with a sweatdrop._ Maybe I should just walk away and leave them to it... if I cure them they might remember what they said. I don't want to die just because I overheard all this_...

Zoro slashed downward at Sanji, who jumped out of the way. The blade instead cut a flower cart neatly in half. The cart's owner cried out in alarm and anger.

"Then again, the Great Captain Usopp does not step away from danger, he laughs in its face!" Usopp lied aloud. "All I have to do is not get too close."

It felt good to be a sniper at that moment. While Sanji and Zoro continued their fight, Usopp pulled some clear, thin plastic capsules out of his satchel. He then quickly filled these capsules with the silver dust Martel had given him. He pulled out his slingshot and drew the capsules back in the strap.

"Special Attack- _Silver Cure Star_!" he called out, letting the capsules fly.

As usual, Usopp's aim was impeccable. The capsules each hit the swordsman and cook's faces, exploding into clouds of silver. The clouds cleared to reveal... Zoro and Sanji still going at it at full force. The square was starting to look like a battlefield.

"What the- why didn't work?" Usopp wondered. He looked down at his bag of cure. "Then again, Thurgood said it might have different effects since they caught the disease differently. Damn."

"Don't worry, Longnose. It worked."

Usopp turned to see Robin, Luffy, Chopper, Nami, and Martel standing behind him. The first three looked amused, while the latter two looked annoyed.

The sniper raised an eyebrow at the archaeologist. "What are you talking about? They didn't stop."

"True, they didn't stop _fighting_," Robin began to explain. "But look at their eyes."

Usopp looked. Sure enough, Zoro and Sanji's eyes had returned to their normal colors. They were cured- just like him, they hadn't even noticed.

"They may not be spouting the truth anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that they're both idiots," Nami said heatedly. "Give me a second."

Nami marched over to Sanji and Zoro and proceeded to knock them both in the noggin. Zoro naturally began cussing her out, which led to Sanji attacking him all over again, which led to Nami once again hitting the both of them. Luffy naturally started laughing at his crewmates' expense, while Chopper ran over with ice packs ready for the two fighting fools.

"... Your crew is weird," Martel deadpanned. "Mildly amusing, but weird."

"I suppose we are," Robin admitted with a smile.

"You get used to it," Usopp said, also smiling.

Martel snorted and crossed her arms. "I bet. Oh, and Longnose?"

"What?"

"I'd run if I were you."

Usopp glanced at her quizzically. "Huh? Why?"

Martel jerked her thumb to the side. "Because Red is done punching the snot out of your friends, and it looks like she's coming for you."

Usopp's head snapped to look behind him, his eyes wide in fear.

"USOPP!" Nami shrieked. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THIS!"

The liar decided to do what he did best- run like his life depended on it. He quickly thanked Martel for her warning and sped off, Nami following close at his heels.

"Oh dear," Robin muttered. "I do hope Ms. Navigator doesn't catch up with him. She seems likely to break his arms when this angry."

"He'll be okay," Martel said with a laugh.

"What makes you say that?"

"You don't know? It's physically impossible to outrun a coward."

* * *

_Robin told me later that's what Martel said, and she was right to an extent. Nami never caught up to me, but I did eventually have to go back with her to Thurgood's stall. There, we explained to everyone exactly what happened, including the truths they had revealed while sick._

_I didn't want to, but Robin said that wasn't fair to them so we blabbed to each of them in private. Zoro, Sanji, and Nami all naturally denied what truths they told, while Chopper simply covered his eyes with his hat in embarrassment. Luffy laughed most of his off, but I had a feeling he was not proud of some of the things he said. I don't what it was he told Robin when she found him, but hey, I can live without knowing._

_Thurgood yelled at Luffy for making me drop the Sphere afterwards, then invited the entire crew back to his and Martel's house for dinner. I think he likes us, despite thinking we're all idiots. And while I don't like how he thought I was mostly to blame (he gets along with Nami in that regard) and kept insulting me, he's a pretty cool old guy._

_Not overly fond of Martel though. I'm still mad at her for selling me the stupid ball in the first place. If she hadn't been so greedy, we would have never gotten into this mess to begin with. _

_Anyway, the log pose has long since set and we have left Bazaar Island behind. Thurgood and Martel saw us off and even refunded me for the sphere, which made Nami very happy. And that officially put our little honesty crisis to an end. While it did not unmake the Grand Line like I originally said, it was certainly stressful. I'm just glad everything closed with no major side effects. _

_So, any future crew members who read this log, be warned. If we ever return to Bazaar Island, do not go anywhere near shiny gold balls. Truth is stranger than fiction, and no one should have to learn that the... well, not necessarily _hard, _but the most definitely _aggravating_ way._

_Do with this knowledge as you will._

"There!" Usopp said, dropping his quill with flourish. "It's all written down, every detail except for your guys' secrets. Are you satisfied?"

Nami picked up the log, skimming what Usopp had written. She then nodded. "Looks good. Excellent work, Usopp."

He snorted and leaned back in the chair. "But of course. I was a master scribe by the time I was four years old, you know."

"Liar."

"What?! How did you know?!"

"You just told me."

Usopp made an exasperated sound and left Nami's study, walking out onto the deck to the sound of her laughter. Zoro was also on deck, training with his massive weights. Chopper sat next to the mast, grinding ingredients for medicine there since it was such a nice day. Sanji was most likely in the kitchen making lunch, and this was about the time of day Robin had her noon coffee, so she was probably in there with him.

"Hey, Usopp!" Luffy greeted from where he sat on the Merry's railing, fishing. "Did Nami finally let you go?"

"Yeah, she was satisfied with what I wrote," Usopp replied. "Hey, do you have another one of those poles?"

Luffy happily held another fishing pole up, and Usopp took it as he joined Luffy on the railing. As Luffy babbled on about bait, Usopp took another look around the Going Merry.

_Skypeia, Navarone, the Davy Back Fight, the memory-eating sea horse, and Bazaar Island_, Usopp thought. _It's been one crazy thing after another lately._

He thought back to what Martel had said about their crew.

_"... Your crew is weird. Mildly amusing, but weird."_

The crew was indeed weird. But Usopp couldn't imagine himself anywhere else. He just hoped they would get a little peace in the coming days.

* * *

_**Meanwhile...**_

Thurgood took a sip of booze from his mug. "You know, you should head out to sea. I know you hate watching our stall."

Martel looked up from her spot on her living room floor, where she was pouring over a sea chart. "Where is this coming from?"

"I saw how you looked at that little caravel, not to mention you _have_ been studying maps more often these days."

"What would I do? I'm not wearing that ugly marine uniform, and I don't want a bounty on my head."

Thurgood shrugged. "You're a stupid girl, but you're also clever. I'm sure you could think of something." He glanced at her map. "What's on that map?"

Martel sat up and held up the chart. "I was talking to Nami about her crew's course during dinner the other day, so I'm trying to figure out where they're going next. Aside from a little no-name island on the way, I've calculated that they're going to be ending up at Water 7 pretty soon."

Her grandfather frowned. "And that's a bad thing? They have pretty good shipwrights there, and that ship of theirs looked like it was one voyage away from sinking."

"Yeah, but this is the time of year they get that huge tsunami, Aqua Laguna. I'm kind of beating myself up for not warning them."

"Bah, they'll be fine. Water 7 has well-perfected measures for that wave, and I have a feeling those pirates can handle themselves."

His granddaughter rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. 200 berris says those dopes become the subject of an island-wide manhunt within two days of getting there."

Thurgood just laughed, and Martel rolled her eyes again and turned back to her map.

She smiled to herself. The Straw Hats were crazy, but she had to admit they weren't too bad for pirates. She hoped they would be okay upon reaching Water 7. She would have to keep an eye out for them if they ever got their names in the paper.

Who knows, maybe she would see them again someday. Stranger things have happened.

* * *

**Done! I'm finally done with this! I might do a quick epilogue later, but for now, it is done! Thank you for your patience!**

**I also reference TFS DBZ Abridged in this, Can you spot it?**


End file.
